Posts Tagged ‘preparing for marriage’

You Want a Marriage or a Wedding? The Why Behind the Ring!

Posted: March 3, 2025 in marriage
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Marriage is often regarded as a milestone in life, meticulously planned, and celebrated. However, beyond the wedding day itself lies a multitude of conversations that should precede this monumental commitment. In the latest episode of our podcast, WE explore the multi-layered question, “Why do you want to get married”? It’s a question that extends beyond romantic notions of love and companionship; it’s about preparing for a lifetime of partnership, collaboration, and shared growth. In a society where the marriage rate is declining, and divorce rates hover around 50%, understanding the motivations and expectations behind marriage is more critical than ever.

Season 2 | Episode 1 – WE3 The Winning Team Podcast (click to view)

The episode opens with a powerful discourse on the purpose of a Christ-centered marriage. WE emphasize that if individuals are striving to emulate the qualities found in Christ, then the union itself will likely reflect those attributes. WE remind you that a marriage built on mutual faith and shared aspirations is more likely to withstand challenges. It’s about both partners focusing on elevating one another spiritually, rather than merely fulfilling traditional gender roles.

As the conversation unfolds, WE delve into the pros & cons of various motivations people have for getting married, such as:

  • Companionship & Intimacy: Finding a lifelong partner for emotional support, companionship, and intimacy.
  • Starting a Family: Building a family and raising children together.
  • Social Status & Tradition: Fulfilling societal expectations and adhering to traditional norms.
  • Financial Stability: Sharing financial responsibilities, pooling resources, and increasing financial security.
  • Legal and Social Benefits: Gaining legal rights and benefits, such as inheritance rights, healthcare benefits, and tax advantages.
  • Sense of Security and Stability: Finding a stable and secure partner for long-term companionship and emotional support.
  • Deepening Love and Commitment: Formalizing a committed relationship and expressing a lifelong commitment to one’s partner.
  • Building a Shared Life: Creating a shared home, building a life together, and experiencing life’s joys and challenges side-by-side.
  • Creating a Legacy: Building a family and passing on values and traditions to future generations.
  • Personal Growth: Learning, growing, and evolving as individuals within the context of a committed relationship.

Our discussion revealed that many individuals may feel the urge to get married simply because of the expectations placed upon them by family or cultural norms rather than an authentic desire to build a life together.

WE assert that each couple’s needs and desires are unique, and thus, they should not feel confined to follow a blueprint defined by societal expectations. Instead, WE propose several reflective questions aimed at encouraging individuals to think critically about their own motivations, such as “Did you like yourself as a child?” and “How did you learn to adjust to the differences in your partner without losing who you are?” These questions serve as prompts for deeper introspection, ultimately leading to stronger foundations within marriages.

Interdependence versus independence also comes under scrutiny as the hosts discuss common narratives surrounding independence, especially among women. The pressure to maintain individual autonomy while navigating a partnership is acknowledged as a significant challenge for many couples. However, the episode presents an alternative view—that true interdependence can lead to mutual growth and support. WE propose that understanding the importance of a balanced dynamic can foster healthier relationships, reminding you that, ultimately, vulnerability and open communication are essential to maintaining emotional intimacy.

In sharing insights from our own marriage, WE highlight that interdependence does not imply codependence; rather, it encourages partners to thrive together while embracing their individuality. This engaging dialogue ultimately sets the stage for the ongoing season, inviting you to engage and reflect on your paths toward marriage and relationships.

You are left with the challenge to reflect on your motivations for marriage, while also being encouraged to engage positively with season one of our podcast. As WE wrap up the episode, WE were clear on our mission: to initiate conversations that allow couples to explore the depths of their relationship, leading to more informed decisions when it comes to the sacred institution of marriage.

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We appreciate your support!

Host
Eugene Gatewood
– Website – https://eugenegatewood.com
– YouTube: @Original_Mentor 
– Facebook: @Eugene.Gatewood
– Instagram: @Original_Mentor 
-TikTok: @elgatewood

LaTanya Gatewood
– Facebook: @LaTanya.Gatewood
– Instagram: @reddingl

Podcast Music by Micah Gatewood

Navigating the Dating Game: Insights, Challenges, and Christian Perspectives on Relationships

Posted: March 27, 2024 in marriage
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Episode 4 | The Dating Game…

In this episode of the WE3 The Winning Team Podcast, WE dive into the complex and ever-evolving world of dating and relationships, specifically from a Christian perspective. As a married couple for over two decades, WE share personal anecdotes, experiences, and the wisdom WE‘ve gathered along our journey.

One of the most significant changes WE explore is the influence of technology on the dating scene. The rise of dating apps has undeniably revolutionized how people connect and find potential partners. While these platforms have their advantages, like streamlining the process and allowing people to filter through potential matches based on preferences, they also come with a set of challenges. The issue of authenticity in the digital age is a recurring theme in our discussion, emphasizing how people often project an idealized version of themselves online, which may not always align with reality.

Another aspect of modern dating that we discuss is the idea of having a list of expectations for a potential partner. While having standards is crucial, it’s equally important to be open-minded and not too quick to dismiss someone who doesn’t tick every box on your list. Sometimes, focusing too much on the list can make you miss out on someone who could be a great fit for you in ways you hadn’t considered.

Dating as a Christian in today’s society also brings its unique set of challenges. The conflicting messages in culture and the pressure to prioritize external success over finding a partner can make the dating landscape even more complex for Christians. In our conversation, we emphasize the need to change the narrative, stressing that God did not create us to be alone.

A significant portion of our discussion also revolves around the importance of self-love and self-awareness in relationships. Before entering a relationship, it’s crucial to understand who you are, what you want, and what you can offer. It’s about acknowledging that your identity shouldn’t be defined by your partner, and the attraction should go beyond physical appearance.

Finally, WE wrap up the episode by discussing the responsibility of choosing the right partner. The purpose of dating should be to truly get to know someone, observing how they react in various situations rather than focusing solely on their qualities. 

To sum up, navigating the world of dating and relationships requires a combination of self-awareness, patience, and a clear understanding of your values and expectations. It’s a journey that can be complex and challenging, but with the right mindset and approach, it can lead to a fulfilling and rewarding relationship.

To add a pinch of humor, WE also share a quirky habit that still annoys us after two decades of married bliss. 

Tune in for this enriching conversation on dating and relationships; you might find a new perspective on finding ‘the one’.

Watch This Episode & Subscribe on our YouTube Channel

Husbands: The Story is Your Life Too…So Help Her Write It

Posted: February 9, 2015 in Life Lessons
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Its Your Story Too My wife has always inspired me to be better.  She has an internal drive that causes her to get bored very quickly if she is not being challenged. Before we got married, she talked about how Jesus had impacted her life.  I had heard of Him and even heard others talk about Him when, but in hindsight, I had never met Him for myself.  I decided to attend the church that she frequented and it changed my eternity. Early on in our marriage, she decided to pursue a Master’s degree.  That meant that I would not have home cooked meals on nights that she had class, but that was a sacrifice required for her to accomplish her goal.  As I sat by and watched her study, I realized the importance of growing together, so I decided to pursue a Master’s degree as well. (Fast forward about 8 or 9 years)

About 2 years ago, we were talking about our 2014 Family Vision Plan.  We were discussing what made us happy.  After I shared my list, I realized how sad it made her.  She had been in a little slump that was uncommon for her.  During our conversation, she made a statement that kinda rocked me at my core.  I paraphrase, “I feel like there is more! I do not even have a hobby right now! Event Planning is what I love to do and where I find my joy.”  I decided that I would do all that I could to help her get her groove back!  We signed her up for classes, set aside money in the budget to purchase event decor items for her to practice, and we took the proper steps to relaunch her event business.

Fellas…the theme above is clear.  I made a decision to change, to improve, to support her.  It is difficult, if not impossible, to make a decision to support your wife while thinking about the negative impact it will have on you.  Each decision above meant that I was going to have to sacrifice my current way of being, thought process, habits, hobbies, comfort, and time to ensure that she is properly supported.

“Happy wife happy life.” is so cliche, but so true when you dig deeper.  It is not just about making her happy, but positioning her to be the best she can be; which will benefit you as well. Ladies…balance is still important.  In the course of becoming, you can not completely neglect your role.  Be sure to support and continue to encourage him in the process.  If you both are meeting the needs of each other, no one will feel neglected. The two of you should have fun building together.

An “EMPIRE” is defined as “a very large business or group of businesses under the control of one person or company. Think of your family as the owners of an empire that you all are building together.  It is not hers and yours, but ours!  Her successes are your successes. Success does not mean who makes the most money.  Money may be a need, but should not be the driving force.  When you are seeking to discover your true passions, using your God-given gifts, with proper motives, everything will fall into place (Proverbs 18:16 & Matthew 6:33).

Below are some tips I have used to support my wife.  I hope they help:

1.  Don’t Be a Dream Killer

  • You may be very successful in your field and matriculated at the finest institutions, but there is more than one road to success.  Just because your road may seem shorter, does not mean that there are not benefits to traveling a route that may take a little longer or even cost a little more.  Be a mentor, but allow for mistakes without, ” I told you so.(Proverbs 15:1)

2. They Have Dreams Too

  • Dismissing her wants, dreams, and desires is a sure way for you all to grow apart.  Security may come because you are a provider, but that cannot replace the feeling of fulfilling a purpose.  Imagine how they may feel about you helping everyone else become prosperous, but you are not willing to take the time to help them.  Their success is yours too.  You are building an “empire”! (1Timothy 5:8)

3. Give a Little, Take a Little #Compromise

  • I know you travel and have important meetings so that you can continue to provide.  However, just like you put your family on hold for work, there has to be a consistent time where your colleagues are put on hold for family.  Balance is important.  What is MOST important? It has to be more than just words.  With proper planning, anything is possible. (Philippians 2:3)

4. Don’t Sabotage Their Success

  • Remember…their success is your success.  If you have the type of marriage that lifelike roommates and separate everything, fix that first.  When you married you became ONE!  A house divided against itself cannot stand.  When one is jealous of the success of the other, it is a sure sign that you are not operating as one.  If you feel like they are doing more, then DECIDE to do more to support them so that it becomes “ours”.
  • WARNING:  Do not decide to start your own business just because they did.  It cost time, money, and effort to run one business.  Timing is important.  This is still a form of sabotage, disguised as ambition.  Check your motives or you will destroy your own Empire. (Matthew 6:1-18)

5. Be Patient

  • Rome was not built in a day, neither will your empire.  Despise not humble beginnings (Job 8:7).  Building a strong foundation will ensure that what you build will be around for your generations.  After all, the goal is not only to be rich but to build wealth.  Wealth encompasses far more than the amount of money you have.  You will face trials and setbacks, but there is no failure in a lesson learned.  In the end, you will be mature, complete and lacking nothing (James 1:2-8)